My last post was about healing and achievements and confidence, and I'm pleased to say that things have only gone uphill since then. The achievements I talked about in my last post were a huge turning point for me. I surprised myself at how well I was doing, and did things I never thought I could do, and these achievements have given me such a huge confidence boost that I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. But it's not all plain sailing. There are days when I don't want to get up early, don't want to go to work, don't feel like making an effort. I've got to be honest, I'm not a morning person and I spend most days wishing it were a Sunday where I can have a lie in and stay in with a cup of tea and a good book. But part of my confidence boost has involved a morning ritual where, by the time I arrive at work, I'm not only ready to face the day, but I'm determined to smash it. And since this has worked for me, I wanted to write this post in the hope that someone might take something away with them that would make their daily grind more positive and productive.
Most mornings I start my day by mentally swearing at my alarm clock. Some days I might even swear at it out loud. Admittedly, it's not the most graceful or positive way to start the day, and I would love to be one of those people who wakes up with a smile on their face or meditates or does yoga. I'm afraid I'm not that serene, but maybe I will be someday! I proceed to grumble through the next hour as I get ready, and grumble at the bus which never seems to arrive at a time that suits me. But once I'm on that bus, my positivity ritual begins. And this ritual is something so simple: music. I listen to whatever my mood fancies at first, and then once I get to my destination, I have to wait around for half an hour before I can go into work. So I walk, and on my walk, I play my positivity playlist. Some are "can do" songs. Others are simply upbeat tunes. My favourites are girl power anthems (feminist alert, we can do it, girls!). But one song has helped me most of all. It's an old song, one I never really identified with much in the past. You'll know it. It's Titanium by David Guetta, featuring Sia. I first started listening to this song on a day when I really wasn't feeling great. The previous day someone had really tried to put me down and make me feel small, and I was taking it to heart. But then that song came up randomly on shuffle and it was like I grew a second skin, or should we say armour? I reminded myself what I have achieved, what I can do, and I was determined that I was going to have a damn good day and I was going to continue to be awesome and continue to achieve great things.
Titanium is my morning mantra. I am titanium. I am, and I will keep telling myself that. Your song might be something else, or your mantra might not even be musical. It could be a quote, or a poem, or even just a word or a state of mind. It's hard to be good to ourselves and tell ourselves that we're great and strong and we can do incredible things. It's hard to love ourselves. But it's important that we do, because at the end of the day it's the voice in our mind that we listen to. Teach that voice to tell us positive things, and don't let outside influences affect your confidence and your abilities in a negative way.
Find your mantra. Find your morning ritual that is going to help you to be confident and do great things. You can do it, you've got this <3
Wirral, UK, July 2018
Tuesday 24 July 2018
Sunday 29 April 2018
Healing
Dear little blog. It's been a while, hasn't it? My life has changed quite a bit since my last post. I won't go into the story, but what I can say is that I've healed from some very old wounds, and for the first time in a long time, I feel so, so happy. Life isn't exactly where I want it to be, but that's okay, because the most important thing is that I'm on the right path, and I'm feeling so much more content thanks to that fact.
Feeling healed is like coming up for air when you've stayed under water too long, or like stepping outside on a crisp, sunny morning when you've been shut up indoors for a long time. There are still days when those old wounds creep up and remind me that they're still there, giving me aches and pains. Guilt, regret, the occasional stab of bitterness... but they're old wounds, old scars that may or may not fade, and when I can focus so easily on the positives, those negative feelings are becoming easier and easier to ignore.
But there's a special reason I really wanted to write this post. I want to talk about achievements, and about surprising yourself when you discover that you have abilities and strength that you never knew you had. When you're hurting and unhappy for a long time, it's like you don't really know yourself. You forget who you are, forget your path, and forget the person you told yourself you would become when you were innocent and believed that your dreams would come true. Suddenly, when I finally came up for air and blinked the water from my eyes, I could see the woman I've become. I could see that I have passion, and drive, and that I'm braver than I realised. I can do things that as a school girl I always wished I could do, and believed I never could. I'm the person I wanted to be, and so much more. And while I'm not in the place that school girl me thought I would reach by my late twenties, I'm on my way there, and that's the most important thing.
These past months have been challenging but surprising, and this week especially I've achieved things that I never thought I could achieve, and this has caused me to reflect on how far I've come. I've blown my mind with the things I've done this week and these past months, and to some people those might not seem like big things, but to me they're huge leaps that I didn't realise I was brave enough to take. I've surprised myself so much with my abilities and achievements that I'm wondering who I am and how I've done it. But the truth is, while I've been hurting and healing, the woman I am now has always been somewhere deep inside me, working hard and absorbing knowledge and developing new ideas and abilities that are now stepping into the light.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that now. And if you are where I was, stay strong and believe in yourself. You will make it through and you will be surprised and overjoyed to meet the person you are going to become.
Sending love and healing vibes,
Naomi
Wirral, UK, April 2018
Feeling healed is like coming up for air when you've stayed under water too long, or like stepping outside on a crisp, sunny morning when you've been shut up indoors for a long time. There are still days when those old wounds creep up and remind me that they're still there, giving me aches and pains. Guilt, regret, the occasional stab of bitterness... but they're old wounds, old scars that may or may not fade, and when I can focus so easily on the positives, those negative feelings are becoming easier and easier to ignore.
But there's a special reason I really wanted to write this post. I want to talk about achievements, and about surprising yourself when you discover that you have abilities and strength that you never knew you had. When you're hurting and unhappy for a long time, it's like you don't really know yourself. You forget who you are, forget your path, and forget the person you told yourself you would become when you were innocent and believed that your dreams would come true. Suddenly, when I finally came up for air and blinked the water from my eyes, I could see the woman I've become. I could see that I have passion, and drive, and that I'm braver than I realised. I can do things that as a school girl I always wished I could do, and believed I never could. I'm the person I wanted to be, and so much more. And while I'm not in the place that school girl me thought I would reach by my late twenties, I'm on my way there, and that's the most important thing.
These past months have been challenging but surprising, and this week especially I've achieved things that I never thought I could achieve, and this has caused me to reflect on how far I've come. I've blown my mind with the things I've done this week and these past months, and to some people those might not seem like big things, but to me they're huge leaps that I didn't realise I was brave enough to take. I've surprised myself so much with my abilities and achievements that I'm wondering who I am and how I've done it. But the truth is, while I've been hurting and healing, the woman I am now has always been somewhere deep inside me, working hard and absorbing knowledge and developing new ideas and abilities that are now stepping into the light.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that now. And if you are where I was, stay strong and believe in yourself. You will make it through and you will be surprised and overjoyed to meet the person you are going to become.
Sending love and healing vibes,
Naomi
Wirral, UK, April 2018
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